What I'm Supposed to Do

In less than 12 hours I will officially begin my internship with the local school district's Foster Youth Services. I am a bundle of nerves. A minute ago I caught myself rocking back and forth every so slightly. I haven't done that in ages. With the perfect timing the universe usually bestows upon me my cat decided to ingest a large amount of plastic that she's been slowly but surely vomiting up and pooping out. Instead of reading over my notes for tomorrow I'm obsessively prodding her belly, checking her stool, feeling her gums, and figuring out her respiratory rate. All seems well but I can't relax.

My first challenge tomorrow is getting up at 3AM to take Felix to work. We're sharing one car and I still haven't figured out if I need it for my internship or not. I'll probably come back home around 4:15, pass out for a couple of hours, then start getting ready. I'll have to shove breakfast down my throat just delicately enough to make it stay down. I may take a caffeine pill in lieu of coffee then throw lunch into a bag and be off. The next big mental hurdle I've created is driving there. I hate the freeway. I especially hate 99. Thankfully I'll be going the opposite direction of the morning traffic. I hope I remember how to get there - I should look it up.

Third is figuring out what I'm supposed to even do tomorrow at my internship. I know I have Mandated Reporter training from 2PM-4PM. What about from 9AM-2PM, though? I hope they have a plan for me because I don't sit still well. No matter what I will remind myself of one key idea: "This is what I'm supposed to be doing... FINALLY." I decided on social work a good 2 or 3 years ago and this is the first time I'll really get to start. It's only 9 months... then 2 more years in grad school.

Emmi just jumped on my laptop seeking attention. That's a good sign. I'm going to play with her for a while then crawl into bed next to my amazing husband and try to sleep. 9 hours and 23 minutes!

Morning thoughts

As I start writing this entry I glance at the clock and see that it's 4:42AM. I'm killing time before I catch the 6:31AM bus to work and still get there just a little too early. I've been out for two days, first for weird stomach issues then the next day because I couldn't catch a wink of sleep. I only have a few months left at this job, though, so I need to make them count.

My body is giving up on me, I think. My hair is rebelling against the crappy shampoo I've been using until I get my next paycheck. It's turned into a bird's nest that refuses to do anything other than frizz up. My skin had dried out so badly from this weird weather and nothing seems to fix it. My sleep, ohhh my sleep... it's broken. A friend who's a professor said he goes through the same kind of break down after the semester ends. He said we don't suddenly go from 125 to 0 very well. That makes a LOT of sense.

Hmm. While my fingers are tapping away on the keyboard I have Emmi next to me purring on the arm of the sofa. Felix is already at work - he'll take his lunch break shortly after I get my first latte of the day. I don't really have much to be worried about. I just need to breathe and let me body calm down. Of course I could be catching the 5:31AM bus to the gym then heading to work but that would be just a tad too proactive for my liking :) Maybe next week.