A letter I just sent to Doris Matsui

In light of the difficulties I've watched my loved one face I had to respond to Obama's recent call to action. Part of the letter is pre-written from Obama's administration but you can tell which parts I wrote.

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I have watched a loved one struggle with the pains associated with
being brought here as a child from another country. He came on an
airplane with his mother who then decided they were going to stay
here.

That was 11 years ago and now as a 22-year old college student he is
limited to working in bad jobs with bosses who refuse to pay him fully
since he's not a resident or citizen who can fight for his rights.

He's all done at community college but can't afford to transfer to a
university. I see this strong man cry as he is faced with his
limitations in a system he has no vote in.

I stand with President Obama in support of passing the DREAM Act in
this Congress and I hope you do too.

We need to give undocumented youth a path to citizenship through
education or military service -- it's about the American principles of
hard work and fairness.

If you've already been supporting the DREAM Act, then thank you. If
not, I hope you'll reconsider before it's too late.

Thank you, Representative Matsui. I appreciate all that you do for us.

Turning everything in just to wait

Well we finally dropped off all our documents.

Getting the medical done was a nightmare - the cost skyrocketed from the $175 we were quoted to $315 thanks to some missing shots on his shot record. I gotta wonder if a tetanus shot is really worth how much they charged us. At least he has his updated varicella vaccine now. Poor guy has never had chicken pox so what a nightmare it'd be if he got that or shingles now... Eek. He tested positive for TB on his arm so he had to spend another $50 to get an x-ray of his lungs. No TB there. Then the idiot at the front desk kept saying his payment didn't go through. We printed out bank statements and got confirmation numbers from the bank and they still wouldn't buy it. They got in touch with the vendor who processes all their payments and almost two weeks after the exam we finally got our sealed I-693.

I had a hell of a time getting University Enterprises to write my confirmation of employment letter. I contacted the same person twice by e-mail then finally called her and got her machine. I left a professional yet nasty voicemail saying it was my third attempt to reach her within 10 days and as she had no vacation notice up I assumed she was in the office. I ended up going to the office to demand a letter and the woman at the front desk didn't seem surprised that the other lady was such a nightmare to deal with. She typed it right up for me and sent me off within 5 minutes of getting there.

We spend another $60ish on passport photos since he needed 4 and I needed 2 but got extra so I could eventually get a new passport. I'm thinking we should have just done them at home. We have a white wall and pretty nifty camera. Ah well.

We headed over to Golden1 to add him to my bank account and after making us squirm for a while they eventually told us they couldn't add him since his ID was expired. I could tell he got upset but we still had to get $1366 worth of money orders so we just handled that then took off.

We dropped off the docs in the afternoon and the lawyer's office was locked. We had to call to get let in and the intern was rude about Felix's difficulty understanding the bizarre buzzing/locking system on the door.

It was a crappy, crappy few weeks and especially the last day. At least now our documents are in. Now we wait until the lawyer asks us to come in and sign them (I think?) before they get sent off to the big bad immigration office. We're really getting tired of all this and it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It'll be over soon.

Where we are in the process

A couple of weeks ago we met with out lawyer again. He forgot how much he said he'd charge us so he knocked his remaining fees down to $1700. Score for us, big boost of good energy for him! Every little bit counts right now.

He collected a lot of our preliminary information so they could start putting our package together. That afternoon we got an e-mail with a questionnaire for each of us, I being the petitioner and Felix the beneficiary. There was a section on each of our forms where we had to list our addresses for the past ten years. We practically ran out of space. He could hardly remember all the addresses and I just couldn't believe how many we each had. It was a nice reminder of what we're working so hard for. 'Home' is a very important goal for both of us.

We have to gather a bunch of documents still. He also needs a $200-400 medical exam. We'll be working on that throughout September. We really wanted to get all of that done in August so we could send our paperwork off in September but it looks like September or very early October is more plausible. So many things to do! We both have to take passport-style photos. I don't know what both of our pictures have to do with him becoming a resident but hey, I'll jump through any hoop at this point.

That's all for now. We're just assembling the package before we send it off to the big scary gov'ment.

Plants that clean your indoor air

Well with the budget for space exploration as low as it currently is NASA has been working on a lot of other projects. Okay, the following project does make sense for NASA considering clean air is important no matter where you are - Earth, the moon, or otherwise. Continuing from some research they'd done in the 60's and onward is a great study on indoor air pollution. Good news everyone - plants can help!

Bamboo Plant

These plants help absorb benzene and formaldehyde. The study placed the plants in plexiglass chambers which were then injected with various substances.

This is taken directly from the report which you can find here.
"Formaldehyde is a ubiquitous chemical found in virtually all indoor environments. The major sources, which have been reported and publicized, include urea-formaldehyde foam insulation (UFFI) and particle board or pressed-wood products. Consumer paper products,including grocery bags, waxed papers, facial tissues, and paper towels, are treated with urea- formaldehyde (UF) resins. Many common household cleaning agents contain formaldehyde. UF resins are used as stiffeners, wrinkle resisters, water repellants, fire retardants, and adhesive binders in floor covering, carpet backing, and permanent-press clothes. Other sources of formaldehyde include cigarette smoke and heating and cooking fuels such as natural gas and kerosene.

Formaldehyde irritates the mucous membranes of the eyes, nose, and throat. It is a highly reactive chemical that combines with protein and can cause allergic contact dermatitis. The most widely reported symptoms from exposure to high levels of this chemical include irritation of the upper respiratory tract and eyes and headaches.(2,3) Until recently, the most serious disease attributed to formaldehyde exposure was asthma..."

"Benzene is a very commonly used solvent and is also present in many basic items including
gasoline, inks, oils, paints plastics, and rubber. In addition, it is used in the manufacture of detergents, explosives, pharmaceuticals, and dyes.

Gerber Daisy

Benzene has long been known to irritate the skin and eyes. Furthermore it has been shown to be mutagenic to bacterial cell cultures and has shown embryotoxic activity and carcinogenicity in some tests. Evidence also exists that benzene may be a contributing factor of chromosomal aberrations and leukemia in humans. Repeated skin contact with benzene causes drying, inflammation, blistering, and dermatitis. Acute inhalation of high levels of benzene has been reported to cause dizziness, weakness, euphoria, headache, nausea, blurred vision, respiratory diseases, tremors, irregular heartbeat, liver and kidney damage, paralysis,and unconsciousness. In animal tests, inhalation of benzene led to cataract formation and diseases of the blood and lymphatic systems. Chronic exposure to even relatively low levels causes headaches, loss of appetite, drowsiness, nervousness, psychological disturbances, and diseases of the blood system, including anemia and bone marrow disease."

Peace Lily

Top 10 most effective plants
Bamboo Palm - Chamaedorea Seifritzii
Chinese Evergreen - Aglaonema Modestum
English Ivy Hedera Helix
Gerbera Daisy Gerbera Jamesonii
Janet Craig - Dracaena “Janet Craig”
Marginata - Dracaena Marginata
Mass cane/Corn Plant - Dracaena Massangeana
Mother-in-Law’s Tongue Sansevieria Laurentii
Pot Mum – Chrysantheium morifolium
Peace Lily - Spathiphyllum
Warneckii - Dracaena “Warneckii”

If you have pets one thing to keep in mind is which plants are toxic to cats and/or dogs. My options so far are either the bamboo palm or Gerber daisies. Play it safe and look up any plants you want to buy before you bring them into your home. The ASPCA has a searchable list with all the toxicity warnings for pets: ASPCA Plants

The dirty dozen and the clean fifteen

The Environmental Working Group is a non-profit organization that publishes findings related to consumer health and awareness. They sponsor a number of projects and present the info in easy to understand ways for your average shopper.

One example is this great little shopping list that tells you which produce have the lowest pesticide levels and which have the highest. It's a great money-saver considering how expensive some organic fruits and vegetables can be.

There's the dirty dozen and the clean fifteen. It's good to know we can save a few bucks on most of the thicker skinned fruits and some less susceptible veggies.

The dirty dozen are:

1. Celery
2. Peaches
3. Strawberries
4. Apples
5. Blueberries (Domestic)
6. Nectarines
7. Bell peppers
8. Spinach
9. Cherries
10. Kale/Collard greens
11. Potatoes
12. Grapes (Imported)



The clean fifteen are:
1. Onions
2. Avocado
3. Sweet Corn (Frozen)
4. Pineapples
5. Mango (Subtropical and Tropical)
6. Sweet Peas (Frozen)
7. Asparagus
8. Kiwi Fruit (Subtropical and Tropical)
9. Cabbage
10. Eggplant
11. Cantaloupe (Domestic)
12. Watermelon
13. Grapefruit
14. Sweet Potatoes
15. Honeydew Melon

The full list can be found here. If you want the cute lil' shopping list you can find it here.

Happy shopping!

In-Between Girl

"I am the in-between girl. I come right after the girl who broke your heart but right before your next girlfriend.

You don't date me.

We sleep together in the off time so you feel a little less lonely. You call me in the middle of the night to talk about her.

Often. 

Then either you fall for me but run in the other direction to that nice, safe relationship or you forget about me and move on to some other girl who'll actually get a label from you.

She's the one you can introduce to your friends and family but I'm the one you'll still be thinking about when you're lying next to her."


In-Between Girl by laubauzz is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Heartbroken Harlot

The cold air was slamming against my skin as I stomped down the street. My heels clicked and my legs shook with each step. I had my shoulders thrown back to try and put the best of me forward. I knew they were watching so I didn't hold back at all that night. I stopped to adjust my thigh-hi's, letting my hair fall across my face and stick to my lips; they liked when I did that. I lifted my head up and arched my back then went back to prowling. The wire was starting to sting, but I cherished that pain. I felt like I fucking deserved it.

I reached the corner. The sick yellow light buzzed and cast a falsely angelic glow on my body. The stretch of my skirt was tempting and they were still looking, but no one would come. I could tell tonight would be slow. The only ones on the street were the pathetic losers. They were always intimidated by me, thought even I would turn them down... No, I got my work from the heartbroken, the ones who used to be strong. Those who were sick of feeling fucked around with. For a night I was just their plaything, they could be in charge.

Finally. A man walked towards me, a customer. He was dressed in a black suit with white stripes dripping down it. His stride was proud... Too proud. Wait, what was he doing on my street? Cautiously, I reached my hand into my bag trying to grope for my gun. Something was wrong, he didn't belong on a street like this. He could have any woman he wanted. 20 feet away. 10 feet. 5.

"Hello darling," I dared. He arched an eyebrow seductively and walked around me in a circle.

He spoke. "I have a proposition for you."

"Sorry, sweetie, I don't make deals," I replied. I followed him with my eyes, entirely unsure of his next move.

He let out an arrogant laugh. "This time, you don't have a choice." Then he came at me. I knew it. I pulled out my gun but he grabbed my wrist and twisted it sharply away from me. I was pinned against the wall quicker than I could even believe. "If you can tell me something beautiful about yourself, I'll let you go..." he hissed into my ear. "But all I can see is a sad, ugly whore."

He was right.


Heartbroken Harlot by laubauzz is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

The name change game

We've been married for about a month and a half now and probably twenty people have asked my what my new last name is. My last name is the same was it was two months ago, five years ago, and 21 years ago. There is now law requiring me to change my name.

I've said several things - I kept my name so it's easier at school, I'll change it when I have kids, etc. People do it for a variety of reasons - some for tradition, some for ease once children are born, some in order to honor a family they feel did a lot for them. Look it up. More men are taking women's last names than before, many stating that their in-laws helped them through hard times or something similar. Other couples have been combining their names, breaking the hyphenation rule and even blending them into one. A well-known example is Mayor Villaraigosa. He and his wife combined their names.

Aside from those innocently asking for my new name I've been bothered already by my university's financial aid office. They asked me several times to submit my legal name change and my new Social Security card. I got so exasperated I finally went to the office in person. I explained to the woman at the desk I hadn't changed my name. She smiled and very genuinely asked if it stayed the same because, by coincidence, my husband had the same last name as me. 

My brain jumped to, "Is this really the only way she could believe I kept my name?" I told her it was too complicated to change it at school and that maybe I'd change it when we have kids. There I went, spitting out the same old excuse. She seemed appeased by this though. She made me submit a handwritten and signed/dated statement that I had not changed my name then sent me on my merry way.

I'm keeping my name because I feel that I've accomplished enough under my current identity that I want to keep it as-is. Also, it was my father's last name and he passed it down to me. My husband is a great part of my life but my dad dedicated eighteen years to raising me. Maybe when Felix has put in his 18 years I'll reconsider.

Meeting our lawyer

After tons of research online for which lawyer we should use I found Blake Nordahl. He came highly recommended by former clients and peers alike. He seemed liberal since had been on the news speaking out against Arizona's recent legislature. He also is a professor at McGeorge so he's invested in Sacramento on several levels. Here's his website: Nordahl Law

Felix and I met him at 4PM right off University Ave. He met us right up front and as we were his last appointment of the day and we could tell he was tired. We started joking with him about how we'd been up since 5:45AM so we'd try to go easy on him.

Once we got back to his office we started all the serious business stuff... except he made everything sound easy and not scary. It didn't feel like business at all. I'm not feeling particularly articulate tonight so I'm just going to transfer my notes from our meeting into here:

1. When can we start the process of adjusting his status?
• Right now - we could have started the day after we got married
2. What is the breakdown of the total costs?
• $100 consultation fee is applied to our total case cost
• Usually he charges $2500 for our kind of case
• BUT he's taking of $500 since we're students!
• He'll also knock off another $100 if we pay in full up front instead of making payments so down to $1900 now
• It's about $1365 for all the filing fees with the government
• Another $250 or so for Felix's physical, more if he needs shots
• So the grand total we should expect, low end is... $1900+1365+250... the total cost is about $3515
3. What is the timeline of the adjustment of status process?
• Once we pay they start working on the case immediately. It takes about one month to assemble the first package that needs to get sent off to ICE. From there it's about three more months tops. So all in all he'll be legal about 4 months from our start date!
4. Not working isn't an option - so what do we do?
• Ideally he should quit his job since he's working with a made up SSN but honestly ICE won't care too much about that when he becomes a resident. He isn't using someone else's SSN and he doesn't owe taxes so he should be fine. Just quit the job as soon as he is legal and seek proper employment with the new and correct information.
5. I didn't change my name... will that hurt us?
• Nope, not at all. Booyah now I'm never changing my name.
6. What else should we be doing to get started?
• We already have a lease together as well as a joint AT&T account
• Get a joint bank account and actually use it, don't just let it sit there
• If possible get on shared health insurance but since we can't it's good he has my Power of Attorney

He reassured us that everything will be fine. He doesn't foresee any issues coming up since Felix entered the country legally, went to high school here and has his diploma, attends college legally, and come on he wants to be a firefighter, how can you say no to this guy?

So yay! We'll keep you posted on everything. We just need to figure out the money stuff.

Finally hitched!

We got married June 4 in a little ceremony at the County Clerk and Recorder's Office. We quietly made jokes to each other throughout the vows and argued over who got to dip whom during our kiss. It was small and simple with just our closest (distance-wise as we have beloved family members all over) family members but sadly none of our friends. I did have a couple amazing co-workers who used guerilla tactics  to sneak in and take some pictures for us. Love them. My brother put together this great video:

Hopefully we can have a 're-do' soon. We're aiming for June 2011 but that all depends on if we can afford something by then. With half our family here and the other half scattered around the world from Panama to the Philippines figuring it all out will involve a whole lot of people. We are excited to do it over with our friends around, though.

For now we're just going to enjoy getting to call each other husband and wife which have evolved in our 'cute speak' to 'hus-baaaahnd' and 'gwife.'  

Jumping through another hoop

We arrived at the County Clerk and Recorder around 9, signed in then sat in the waiting area. I looked around the room and noticed postings about payment types and asked the lady at the counter if they accepted debit cards or credit cards. Lo and behold - they took everything except Visa which I had four of in my wallet.

Felix and I run to an ATM a few blocks away and withdraw $100 - the license is $82. We rush back and the clerk takes us into the back to go over our marriage license. She asks for our IDs and we hand them over, I had my CA ID and Felix had his Panamanian passport. She gets up to copy them then comes back and says to Felix, "This is expired." Our hearts sank. That's everything we were afraid of. We explained to her that he was unable to get a government ID. After some painful moments she told us we could have two people with government-issued IDs come in and certify that they know who Felix is. We told her we could have people there ASAP. We ran outside and called Keegan and Erica, waking them both up. They said they'd be there right away.

Felix and I sat in the hallway for a while waiting for our friends to get there. Feeling yet again the frustration of his situation my eyes started watering. He noticed and asked me what was wrong and I started crying. An eyelash landed on my cheek and he put it on the tip of his finger and he said to me, "Make a wish, baby." If anyone were put in our place wouldn't we all wish for the same thing? I blew the eyelash and we had to go outside for a little bit so we wouldn't draw attention.

Keegan and Erica arrived and the four of us ran back inside and they made Keegan and Erica sign papers saying they can attest to Felix's identity. While they did that Felix and I settled our balance which had grown to a whopping $98 - it's $16 extra to have people confirm your identity with signatures.

When it was all done, we got up and walked out with our marriage license at last.

Now our next obstacle is how do we accommodate all the people we want to be at our wedding? We thought the room could hold more but the lady who gave us our license said 20 was the absolute maximum. She also said the Fair Oaks office could hold 27, maybe 30 tops. I just want to do the cute backyard wedding thing but since this is all such a rush I don't know how to make that happen.

Foiling the proposal

Of course nothing is simple with us, even a marriage proposal.

We'd always talked about getting married but when Felix got caught in a checkpoint driving my mom's car without a license it really bumped things up (his own car was broken down). We knew we couldn't delay anymore. He'd said the whole time we'd been together that he didn't want to get married for citizenship - he wanted to wait and go through his brother then marry me once he was legal. Felix never wanted there to any doubt cast on us by others. After this incident Mom jumped on the bandwagon with us.

I knew a ring was going to come eventually but first Felix had to pay a whopping $400 ticket for driving without a license. Poor Momma had to spend almost $2000 to get the car out of the impound lot and Felix wanted to work on paying her back right away. Needless to say the ring was going to wait for a while and although I wasn't picky about it Felix insisted on getting something nice. Nice = expensive to that guy.

His pay day came and he went to court to take care of his ticket. They wouldn't let him pay for it because it wasn't in the system yet. When he called to tell me this I asked him if it meant I would get my ring soon. He responded very nonchalantly... unsuspecting, I got mad at him for being so removed from the topic.

Later that day I go to pay some bills but first I check his bank account to make sure he can afford his portion. This is something I do regularly since I manage the finances. Lo and behold he has less than $10 in his account. Why? He bought my ring. I tried to resist the urge to let him know I ruined my surprised but I was so upset about not getting to go with him to get it like he planned. I know, I'm an idiot. I ended up texting him something vague and when he calls me I tell him everything.

Jess texts me asking what's going on since Felix called Blake, our friend and her boyfriend, to cover him at work due to an emergency. I call Felix again and it turns out he's on his way to my work. I ask my boss if I can go home and she lets me go meet Felix downstairs. We head to Allstate really quick, my way of delaying the inevitable, and sign up for renter's insurance. We were supposed to go after work originally. Then... we head home.

I knew he wasn't going to be able to hold on to the ring now that I knew about it. He went over to his jacket where the ring had been this whole time and walks over to me with it. I go into little girl panic mode saying, "I don't want it I don't want I don't want it!"

He gets down on one knee while I'm still panicking and starts his formal speech, "Laura-Alexis Harvey will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

To get him back a little bit for the stress of the morning and in order to be reminiscent of when he asked me to be his girlfriend I said, "Umm... yeah!"

So I foiled the proposal but I think it still turned out pretty cute. Very us, if I do say so myself.