What I'm Supposed to Do

In less than 12 hours I will officially begin my internship with the local school district's Foster Youth Services. I am a bundle of nerves. A minute ago I caught myself rocking back and forth every so slightly. I haven't done that in ages. With the perfect timing the universe usually bestows upon me my cat decided to ingest a large amount of plastic that she's been slowly but surely vomiting up and pooping out. Instead of reading over my notes for tomorrow I'm obsessively prodding her belly, checking her stool, feeling her gums, and figuring out her respiratory rate. All seems well but I can't relax.

My first challenge tomorrow is getting up at 3AM to take Felix to work. We're sharing one car and I still haven't figured out if I need it for my internship or not. I'll probably come back home around 4:15, pass out for a couple of hours, then start getting ready. I'll have to shove breakfast down my throat just delicately enough to make it stay down. I may take a caffeine pill in lieu of coffee then throw lunch into a bag and be off. The next big mental hurdle I've created is driving there. I hate the freeway. I especially hate 99. Thankfully I'll be going the opposite direction of the morning traffic. I hope I remember how to get there - I should look it up.

Third is figuring out what I'm supposed to even do tomorrow at my internship. I know I have Mandated Reporter training from 2PM-4PM. What about from 9AM-2PM, though? I hope they have a plan for me because I don't sit still well. No matter what I will remind myself of one key idea: "This is what I'm supposed to be doing... FINALLY." I decided on social work a good 2 or 3 years ago and this is the first time I'll really get to start. It's only 9 months... then 2 more years in grad school.

Emmi just jumped on my laptop seeking attention. That's a good sign. I'm going to play with her for a while then crawl into bed next to my amazing husband and try to sleep. 9 hours and 23 minutes!

Transitions

I probably shouldn't confess this but I'm sitting at my gray desk in my tiny little gray cubicle thinking about all the reasons I don't want to be here. I genuinely adore my coworkers, these strong and amazing women (and one man) I've come to know over these past 3 years and 9 months. This is the longest I've held any job. Still, I'm done. It's almost physically painful to sit still. I don't care about applications or salaries anymore. I'm only still trying for the afforementioned coworkers. Two more weeks and I'll be rid of all this gray.

This weekend I volunteered at the Health, Education, and Career Conference for foster youth and foster parents. I woke up at 5:30AM and stumbled across Sac City's campus to the Student Center around 7AM. I worked harder than I have in months... and I loved every second of it. I welcomed attendees, helped with Planned Parenthood's Safe is Sexy workshop, and did some crazy high energy child care toward the end. By the time I left I had huge raw blisters and my whole body ached. It was perfect. Each half smile, awkward hello or nod lingered with me. One girl said she was going to look into Americorps so she could do things like this because she was having so much fun. The whole experience renewed my excitement and desire to finally be doing what I'm studying. I get to be a social worker soon.

Afterward I attended an officer mixer for the Bachelor of Social Work Association and the Master of Social Work Association. Being around people who cared so much about the same things I did made my heart feel full. We had some fun and did a lot of planning for the upcoming semester. Now I can't wait for school to start :)